The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
ugly people sure do ruin things
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
