The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
