I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I want to be your penis for a week.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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