A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
