I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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