Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
