Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
