he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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