Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
