A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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