someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
