I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
