I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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