You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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