I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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