you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
