oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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