You can't motorboat a personality
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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