My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
