Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
