So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
