so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize