I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
