Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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