you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
