wrigley field is MILF paradise
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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