I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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