Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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