I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
