The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
