So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
