Even water is tasting like jack daniels
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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