exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
