All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize