I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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