A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
just come out here and I will go home with you...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Someone shattered a urinal.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
