I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
