we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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