My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
