Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I understand Curling. That high.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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