There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
