And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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