we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
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