Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
