i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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