and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
