We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
