found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
