My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
