Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Randomize
