I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
