Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
