Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Randomize
