Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
