If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
where are you?
Hypothermia
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
