After last night, I could never be a politician.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
