Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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