my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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