I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
