my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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