She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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