brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Quick, to the slutcave!
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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