After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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