So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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