Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
