hell yes lets make some ravioli
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize